I teach them even when I am not aware of it, when I simply flow through the house doing what comes next. Each time I get involved in their business, each time I talk to them, when I ignore them, as I am living my life, I am teaching.
What I do and how I respond to my Children, how much I get involved in their life it all makes a difference. The old way of thinking and approaching my children quickly falls away as I witness that as I am fixing their problems I teach them they can’t do it on their own.
Even my 2 year old learns that I am not willing to get involved in her business of not wanting to share or not getting a toy back. If I do get involved, what do I teach her?Don’t I volunteer to be her persoanl, everyday referee? Don’t I ask to be included in her battles? Don’t I tell her that I will fix her problems because she can’t? Don’t I take the role of judge and prosecutor by making up my mind about what is fair and not fair (even when my own limited perception can not be accurate)?
If I tell my child that it is not my job to determine who should get the toy, I send her on the way to solve her own problem and to learn from her own mistakes. She learns from her different approaches. She learns about choices.
You may think that this could never work in your home because you have experienced that things can get out of hand, and kids can easily get physical and violent if you don’t get involved.
Point taken and I have to admit it is harder NOT to get involved than to get involved AT FIRST. There is fear, and a bunch of what if’s……My biggest what if though would be: “What if I prevent my children to learn, to become self-reliant and self-responsible because I let fear get in the way?”